Det är så fantastiskt
att älska någon så mycket
att älska någon
som älskar mig
som gång på gång på gång berättar HUR jävla kär han är i mig

Det är som att jag inte riktigt kan ta in det, acceptera det
lita
även om jag omsluter det
njuter som om jag kastade mig i en solvarm sjö

det är så fantastiskt att känna sig trygg i någons kärlek

He´s asking for me. He misses me. He is wondering why I am not there. And I am wondering too. I am wondering why he can not be my son even though he calls me his amma. I am wondering why I can not even apply to make him my son, just because I am not by Indian heritage. I am wondering why we aren´t together, when it feels so obvious. It´s just meant to be. 

He is the background on my phone. He makes me happy and I want to see him every day. That´s why. I´ve heard about the progress he made playing with the other kids. He is not fighting as much, maybe finding his place starting to understand it´s better to play together. 

He is asking for me. I am asking about him. I am wondering why he can not be with me. I am wondering why it isn´t meant to be us. Why he isn´t meant to be my son. When I already, by his choice, is his amma.